too big for yr britches

this is just a tiny entry to herald the fact that I'm ready to rejoin the online community.

it's been ages since I've checked email, paid bills, read anything digital, or posted.

but, I finally renounced my cocoon of my so called life and reading printed matter to pay my peco bill, and navigate to my library's website to reserve bossypants, tina fey's memoir. I didn't think about how wildly popular she is, and so I was fairly surprised to see that I was like two-hundred-and-seventy-eighth in line to get the book. luckily, I'd noticed that there was also a large-print version of the book available. I took a gander at how long that line was, and there were only 27 people ahead of me there. I signed up for the large-print version instead - natch! so, does that make me a terrible person? an illicit thief of handicapped parking spaces and for no good reason user of handicapped bathroom stalls? I definitely feel like I'm doing something wrong here, but seriously, to be like the 300th person in line for a book? I'm still waiting for the battle hymn of the tiger mother, and I've been on that list since the book came out (practically).

on the current reading list: jonathan franzen's, freedom

to quote borat, "i liiike."

next up, russel brands', my booky wook

rethinking

so I looked bosu up at target, and they cost 99$. forget it. I seriously don't need to spend that much money on a piece of exercise equipment. I have a thing against getting exercise stuff other than yoga mats, sneakers and other clothing, gps/heart monitor (not that I have one or other), hand weights and dvds. it's the big stuff I don't like. first of all, big equipment is expensive. second of all, where do you put it all? a bosu is practically a piece of furniture. once, I bought an exercise ball and tried really hard to pretend that it was an extra chair in my living room (I lived in a tiny apartment). it wasn't a terrible chair, but it was an awful exercise accessory because it was so hard to pump up, never got completely full, and would never stay 'mostly' inflated. in the end, it just got covered in a maddeningly fine layer of cat and dog hair that was impossible to remove (impossible is probably a bit strong - it's likely I didn't try very hard to remove it). of course I stopped using it for crunches, and then, I was like, what do I do with this giant piece of weird plastic? just throw it away? that's why I don't like exercise furniture - because they just hang about and taunt one if they go unused. that exercise ball became a monument to the moment I had the misguided idea that it would somehow revolutionize the way my abs looked. I would look at the sticky, partially deflated, slightly furry, blue ball and think, you're no hippity hop, and what's so wrong with doing sit-ups on the floor?

I'm sure a hippity hop would have gotten way more play from me

I think what I really wanted was a rody horse

I can't remember what happened to it in the end, but I have a suspicion that john did the dirty work for me and tossed it. maybe I got lucky and convinced someone that they needed a free exercise ball? if I'd been more entrepreneurial, I could have sold it at a yard sale, but that didn't happen.

so now I realize that the bosu will NOT help me regain the body I had when I ran and did yoga every day. 2005 is like waaay gone. no bosu for me. I think I'll ask ktiker about those shred vids she likes. maybe I'll buy the entire family hippity hops. I'll throw a rody horse in for good measure. hm, I'll still have that animal fuzz, weird kind of sticky plastic issue though...I have some more thinking to do.

the tiles I miss

I don't miss fishtown, but I do miss being within walking distance of many friends. I also miss the tiles that I made and installed. needless to say, those tiles would have been nothing without the beautiful glazes and skills graciously donated to me by liz. if you feel like taking a look through the stock she has in her studio now, check out this website. she was photographing pieces this past monday, so the blog should be updated with new pieces shortly.

I absolutely love the neighborhood we moved to, and the house, of course. again, we're indebted to skip for holding the place for us. now that we're finished with the epic rewiring project, the house is nearly ready for some personalization. it's funny, I still think of the house as nick's. I also still think of our bedroom as skip and betsy's...

oh and

bathroom tiles, glazed, but not fired. I'm super excited to see how they turn out. there's matte white, glossy white, occasional pink, occasional green scales.

and this is my life now

• my boobs hurt
• I've lost my baby weight, now I'm only 35lbs overweight
• I wear a baby around all day
• my sacrotuberous ligament is messed up, which means that my butt hurts when I sit down
• I have a rash, ahem, on my ***areas from wearing pads and panty shields for so long
• everything, but mostly my tummy, jiggles when I move too fast

me from another's point of view

me from my perspective

sigh, I know my body will feel like its normal self again one day, but it's so dark in my world right now that super-milf isn't enough on her own to drag me out of nega brain mode. enter two new role models; co-role models, if you will. I'm thinking about pinning their portraits up in my breakfast room. maybe I should make an inspiration board.

#1 Kelly Osbourne: no offense to KO, but as I non-ironically type that she has become a non-ironic source of inspiration in my life, I'm thinking, "oh F, this is what I've come to." AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEE! that's a typed scream, in case you were wondering. earlier today, I was waiting, half-naked of course, in my exam room at the OB/GYN office today (final postpartum checkup!), reading an OK magazine that featured a long snippet about Kelly Osbourne. yeah, well, even out-of-touch-me knew that she is the face of Madonna & Lourdes' clothing line, but I had no idea she was on Shape's DEC 2010 cover (I was actively avoiding workout magazines during my pregnancy. I LOVE them, but they made me feel sad and yucky during the pregnancy). I came home and found the article online; I must say that KO looks damned good in a bikini.

KO claimed, in the article, that she'd never worn a bikini before. um, I watched the Osbournes and have a very difficult time believing that with all the POOR style choices she made over the years, she NEVER put a bikini on, but whatever

see? not a bikini per se, but certainly an outfit that bares a bunch of stuff. I'm not judging, I'm just sayin, hard to believe no bikini. anyways, go KO! for my early birthday gift to myself, I might buy a bosu. my trainer at my work gym used one all the time with me (all those times I went, ha!), and I really liked it. furthermore, I plan to do the KO workout.

#2 Ricky Gervais: I love RG, he's HILARIOUS! and I think, well, if he can lose weight, then I should be able to lose weight. a false premise, I know, because he dreamt up and co-wrote The Office AND was David Brandt, AND has crazy funny podcasts - none of which I can do, nor think I should be able to do. so, we'll see how the weight loss thing goes...

these before and after pics come from the Shape magazine website.

pika pi!

a long time ago, whilst I was working on my MS degree, NPR kept talking about Pokemon. "what IS this thing, this odd word, pokemon?" I would think. then my friend, tracey told me: "one of the little girls in my after school photography class told me that she's not even allowed to say the word pokemon during school."

that sealed it, I decided that as soon as I finished writing my master's thesis, I'd figure out just WHAT pokemon WAS. but, I'd started dating John a few months before, and didn't account for his romantic stylings. for valentine's day (months before I finished my writing my thesis) he presented me with a cute, red game boy

and a Pokemon Yellow game

in no time flat, I was hooked on being Ash, hanging about with Pikachu. MS thesis BE DAMNED! I was catching them all.

so, anyways, I got real up close and personal with the phenomenon of pokemon, and to this day I have a clear memory for many of the original pokemon, as well as their transformations and properties. pikachu is still my favorite pokemon. how could it be ANY other way, when Yellow was the first version I played? yes, you read that right, "first version." I've played at least three of those games. scary, I know.

but really, pokemon is waaaay old news. there's a new (to me) PHENOM in town, the Bieber... right now, he's as alien to me as pokemon was when NPR began to report their stories, and I've never heard any of his songs, well, except for at the store, when I elected to push the "try me" button.

ktiker's sunday post reminded me that I'd taken the following photo on Saturday, when I remarked to myself, "huh, his haircut, 'the bieber,' even beavers are getting it."

maybe pikachu should get it?

oh wait, what was I writing about? um, hm. I'm pretty sure that I began this post with a point. lost it. OK then! hey, how about that justin bieber guy? that's his name, right?

btw, kudos to ktiker for turning me onto pizap! thanks!

if only...

if only I'd had like a modicum of foresight, I'd have actually used tags to ORGANIZE these posts. then, I'd be able to efficiently search my blog. but since I have pretty much only used them to make jokey comments or not at all (with the occasional proper tag thrown in), they're no use to me whatsoever now. but hey, what can you expect from someone who went to art school and had a nasty habit of moving about the country without first finding a job in the next city?

so ANYWAYS, I was thinking that I'd perhaps posted about Pie Minister before. did I? I feel like I did, but I'll never know because I, for one, am not about to go back through my random burblings to find out. regardless, I looked them up on a whim today and found - to my deeeelight - a recipe! I can't wait to make some serious pie. the following three images make my heart light and saliva run (they're all pie minister pie pics):

years ago, when johnke and I were on our honeymoon in London (we've lost ALL our photos, by the way), I had two major goals: (1) find and eat a bonafide scotch egg* and (2) sample as many pies as possible. in my quest to fulfill goal number two (a real stretch, let me tell you), I found the lovely and amazing Pie Minister. oh, how I longed to have them emigrate to the US. alissa assures me that pies are all the rage these days, but back then, savory pies (in the US) mostly came from the frozen food section of supermarkets.

I'm not knocking them - I've eaten my fair share of frozen pot pie, but they're not the same as the British version of the pie. Pie Minister's pies can be eaten on the go, and they're not just delicious in a strange-but-comforting way, they're super awesomely tasty.

blah blah, I can't wait to make my own pie! oh, and you know what's really sad about my then commitment to Pie Minister pies? I brought one of their boxes back home as a souvenir (pic 3), and I still have it.

*goal #1 was inspired by the following scene in the bbc version of the office